He is Very Caring When Sober But Very Abusive When Drunk, Should I Leave Him?

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I met a guy online and we have been dating for more than 2 years now but we haven’t met in person because he stays outside the country though we are both from the same country, Last month he came home but he is based in another city from where I am based, so he came down to my city because my job won’t let me travel excepting I am on leave.

He lodged in a hotel where I went to see him and we met face to face for the very first time.

The guy is really nice and caring to be honest but very blunt and abusive with words and violent as well. Despite these things I wasn’t too worried at first and we carried on like that, because he was quite nice too and would usually apologize for behaving badly.

These attitudes of his only shows up each time he is drunk, he starts looking for problem where there is non, he does not beat me but when he is angry he pushes me up and down and when I try to walk out he drag me back and throws me on the flow till I will have to scream for the the help of the receptionist.

This has happened twice and His elder brother came and begged me to forgive him and he also apologized and I forgave him and we moved on.

But just last week, I prepared food and brought it to his hotel because he complained about the hotel food. On getting there, first he queried me harshly about me coming late, all of a sudden he just switched the topic demanding that I should delete my chat and social media apps and break my Sim but I told him no.

This was not the first time he is doing something like this. First he asked me to resign my job and move with him to his city but I refused and said I can’t do that since we are not married yet and he can’t keep ordering me around like that.

He got angry and started abusing me, calling me a prostitute and a feminist, that I am not ready to marry and I am not submissive then he pushed me to the wall and was choking me, he pushed me and I hit my head, I picked a bottle and said if he comes close to me again I will break his head and ended my relationship with him,



He collected my sim cards and took the phone he bought me, I ended my relationship with him that night and left the hotel with the food.

But now I feel I was too quick to leave him because the elder brother sat me down when the first fight happened and pleaded with me that my man had a horrible child hood coz they are from a polygamous home and he was raised by a single mum and so many other terrifying stuff that has made him an angry man..


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Please I just want to know if I did the right thing by leaving him.

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2 Comments
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mohammed Yusuf Hassan
mohammed Yusuf Hassan

That’s better decision

Hannah Ferdinardo
Hannah Ferdinardo

You did the right thing
It’s best for you, he doesn’t have the right to abuse you

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