ADs (do your own research):
This matter has been disturbing me for some months now and I need advice.
My Fiance is 29 and I am 24. He is a lecturer in a university and our formal engagement ceremony according to custom is coming up in few months time.
I keep complaining to him every time that he doesn’t have my time again since I became pregnant for him (3 months pregnant).
He leaves the house at 7 in the morning and comes back around 9 or 10 in the night. No time to gist, talk and share thoughts with him again. If I should ask what’s going on or if this is the kind of life I will be living when we get married he says that its his work and not his fault.
Even his parents have talked to him on various occasions calling him to order that even if it’s 30 minutes in a day he should spend with me but still he didn’t listen.
He says his job is demanding but pays very well and he’s trying to make the most of the opportunity to chase after the money and that he won’t be doing this forever and if he changes his job it will not be like this. And when I ask him when will he change to another job he says he doesn’t know but now that he is young and strong and has this kind of opportunity he doesn’t want to miss it even if it means working throughout the day.
Please people I am tired of staying alone in the house all day with no one to talk to. He insisted that I should not look for a job because of the pregnancy, that I should rest at home. Right now I’m waiting for my university result in other for me to be posted for the one-year national service.
I am really fedup of my current situation at times and keep thinking why did I even get pregnant for him. Then I remember that he was not like this before I became pregnant. That time he was always taking me out to different places and when not at home he will call to check up on me and if he is going to be late he will call to let me know.
But sometime after the pregnancy things began to change. Instead of taking me out he kept insisting that he did not want me to stress myself so I should spend more time at home relaxing. Later he graduated to not calling when coming late and now he doesn’t even call at all in a whole day till whenever he choses to come back home.
Now if I call him he will not pick and when he eventually comes back home he will say he knew what I wanted to say that’s why he did not pick and that’s why he came early (this is 9pm in the night that he calls early).
This whole situation is really causing me to be depressed. The painful thing is that I don’t even have friends around where we live that I can at least go and have some fun and play and gist when I get too bored at home. I’m not a very extrovertial person so I don’t have a lot of friends and in our compound, the other occupants generally keep to themselves.
I’ve begged and begged him at least to take me out once in a while let me at least get some feel of being alive but he says he doesn’t have much free time for social outings and that if I follow him to work it will be stressful for me.
I believe he loves me but I’m fed up and I don’t know what to do again.
ADs (do your own research):